December 2009
17 posts
2 tags
Cancel "Two and a Half Men": A Mathematical Appeal
For those of you who thought I said my peace a few days ago on the Charlie Sheen domestic violence story, you are clearly mistaken. According to BBC News, Sheen threatened to kill his wife after she asked for a divorce. Threatened to kill! (After two divorces, you’d think he’d be use to women discovering what a scum bag he is and then leaving him, but I guess not.) So here I am once...
The Invincible Charlie Sheen's Old-School... →
I hate Charlie Sheen. This should not be news to anyone. Two and a Half Men is one of the worst shows on television and how Sheen still gets cast for roles is beyond me when his characters cannot surpass the emotional and mental maturity of a teenage boy because, well, he hasn’t. So imagine my delight when, on this holiest of Christmases, Carlos Irwin Estévez, a.k.a. Charlie Sheen, wound up...
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The Thing With Academia... →
A couple of things I know about academics:
They’re not all smart. In fact, some are downright stupid. (Proof: I TA’ed for a guy who spent 11 years getting his Ph.D. 11 YEARS! From the University of Kentucky!)
Some plagiarize and cheat just as much as their students. (Fun fact: One observation was employed by the University of Kentucky. Was employed, as in no longer works there...
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Lynne Curtin, Real Housewife of Orange County,... →
Sadly it’s not for marijuana or ‘shroom possession.
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The Sour Cream Double Standard
sour cream — n. 1. Cream that has soured naturally by the action of lactic-acid bacteria, used in baking certain breads and cakes. 2. A smooth, thick, artificially soured cream, widely used as an ingredient in soups, salads, and various meat dishes.
double standard — n. A set of principles establishing different provisions for one group than another.
Now that we have definitions out...
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Of Kittens and Men
Elena: I miss Chelsea.
Me: I'm sure she misses you too.
Elena: Maybe, or she might have forgotten me.
Me: Doubtful. You are anything but forgettable.
Elena: So I hope [X] has not forgotten me!
Me: Email him! Ooo, send him a postcard!
Elena: To say what?
Me: Hi.
Elena: What else?
Me: I'm Bulgarian.
Elena: Dude, no. But I might email him.
Me: Send him a postcard! You know, aside from my own boyfriend not speaking to me, I'm actually quite good at this stuff.
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Dream Weaver
Me: I had one weird-ass dream last night.
Dave: Oh?
Me: I was with two other people and we were cleaning stuff out, being careful for rats and such. Then two "rats" came out, but in my dream they were in different stages of cell development so one of them was pretty flat with no face or fur and the other one had a spine but no skin and just one eye... And I was trying to kill them with a bicycle tire.
Dave: Umm...
Me: It was so weird.
Dave: Sounds like it. [Waits a few seconds] So the mail just came.
And scene.
